My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
