Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
