he puts the penis in happiness.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
