just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
