I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Come share oat with me in your robe
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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