we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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