Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
