i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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