Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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