I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
