end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I skipped work to stalk him.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
