Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
