Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
