we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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