I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
