i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
