dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
