bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
