i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Found your dick twin last night
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
