Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
