I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize