yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
