She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
