I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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