wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
