Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
