i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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