Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
