You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
