More tranny stories later!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
