So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
