How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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