Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
false alarm, still single
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