Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
