it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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