I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
