I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
