Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
