During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
