pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
