i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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