I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
