just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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