I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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