I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
