He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
