I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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