Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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