but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
