so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
