Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
