Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
