so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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