At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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