There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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